I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
