Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
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