dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize