You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Randomize
