So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
