Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
