Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
