I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Randomize
