Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Randomize