Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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