Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
Randomize
