masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
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