Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
