Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Ladies don't puke and tell
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Randomize
