The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
