Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Randomize
