So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
All I want is dick and wine.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
