i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Randomize
