She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
