WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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