therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Randomize
