I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
