I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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