i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
Randomize
