Where are you?
In a non slutty way
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
