i would punch a child for taco bell
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
our cab driver is having phone sex.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
