Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Randomize