Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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