I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Randomize
