You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
