So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Randomize
