I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
