We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
