he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
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