soooo we both peed the bed last night...
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
