In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
lets start a swedish sibling band together
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Two words: blizzard sex
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Randomize
