seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
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