we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
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