I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Randomize