Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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