With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Randomize
