i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
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