Non-Jews are for practice
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Randomize
