Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
