Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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