READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
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