Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
