any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Randomize
