bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
Randomize