marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
