Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Randomize
