the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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