What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
