hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
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