She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
