My nipple is on Facebook.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Randomize
