did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Randomize
