So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
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