You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
