i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
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