Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
