and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
babies were throwing up all over the place
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
My breasts were aching with rage.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Randomize
