He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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